Of course children are automatically entitled to the former, but may only earn some aspects of the latter — a child who lies is not to be trusted and a child who proves honest will earn that trust, but no child will be obeyed. However, I find that children are oft denied the first kind of respect as they are treated like property and not persons by their parents and by society. It is not respectful to use corporal punishment on children it would be assault on any other human being , it is not respectful to shout and scream at a child, and it is nkt respectful to use demeaning language.
Father already brain washed to kids when they were kids. Now they are in college. I am trying not to hurt kids feeling how their father is bad to us. It made us sad that they are blind about their father who always deny on everything. He pointing us a lot wrong things however look at himself too. I want rebonds with my niece and nephew. This sent off my insecurities until I became suicidal.
Respect Your Parents
I have been battling depression since and ended up in counseling at school. Despite this, I go to college, work hard to get paid internships, and try to manage my finances. My main support comes from my family. The problem is, my blind respect for them as a child has made them think my respect should be a guarantee since they help me with college. Since my depression went downhill, my health, and some of my flawless GPA followed.
I ended up managing 2 surgeries between my senior year. I still managed to get two very good paid internships and both times I financially supported myself until I went back to school. My family has yet to ask about my mental issues, though they know I struggled and am seeing a therapist. They literally think they own me with that money. A reoccurring one is my boyfriend of a year, who is largely responsible for healing many of my self-worth issues.
Everything I have done and battled from is very worthy of respect. And this is the one luxury my parents will not give me. I am frequently not good enough for their them, grades, health, money, job, or my choice of boyfriend. You need help. Not from a therapist. You need help from God.
Parents want what is best for their children so that you can be on your own soon. Grow up and respect your parents. They have better things to do and think of besides trying to control your every move. Until you learn to respect them, you will never be a great person. That is true no matter how successful you are. If,you say that children should and must obey their parents just because of their authority,are you trying to say that because of this,child abuse is justified?
That child trafficking is justified? Before they are your children,they are fellow human beings. If all you are going to do is continuously demand their obedience and respect just because you are their parents,what difference would it be from communism? You do not like others doing that to you either,so do not do that to your child.
To teach your children respect you should show it and expect it in return. So yes when they disrespect you or others they should be pulled up for it, but if you set a good example then they will understand what it is your asking from them.
Valuing People or Valuing Power?
Yes I demand respect from my kids, but I get it because I show them and others around me respect. They learn from my example and because they are still children and are still learning it is up to me to teach them and correct them when they are wrong.
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THank you for your comment. You make very good points. I do not think I have taken this to the extreme. They demand the child change before the parent. A position of power is not enough to gain respect if respect is damaged in the relationship. In that situation, I agree it is important to speak up when you are disrespected.
It is best to speak up about the hurt that causes you. My child is 13 in a few weeks. Of course he is noisy, but I have other smaller children that are in bed when he is doing this and he does it more to wake them which is tireing on its own, let alone the damege and playing up. I ignore him a lot of the time and punish when he calms down. This will start up again tomorrow no doubt.
He is my son as much I want him out sometimes. I am raising my nieces 2 young girls. My older kids all girls 31 26; and 24 hate how my husband and I discipline them. I never gave them consequence they are rude and disrespectful I love them and it hurts. My dad does not respect me at all. Im 17 years old and I yearn for the day that i can finally pack my things and leave.
Respect - Wikipedia
I want to be treate like the young lady i am and not a servant. His idea of kids is free house maids for 18 years. I do what i am told because he is my father and i honestly have no problem doing chores.
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My problem is how he treats me. He claims i do nothing around the house and all i do is sit on my phone all day. I wonder who he thinks does his laundry and how dishes magically appear clean after he tells me to do them. Im contemplating never talking to him after i move out.
We got into a huge fight because i told him i wanted respect but he told me im not his equal i am his child. Im 17 years old i take care of myself and the rest of my family. I am so saddened as I read your story. First, you should not be abused by your parent. Hitting is not allowed. It is considered abuse. Is she alive? Or are your parents divorced? Since you are living home, I would agree some chores should be taken on to show responsibility.
Your fathers treatment is not healthy for your self esteem. Value yourself and never let a man raise a hand to you. You have that choice. Say no to abuse. I hope you turn 18 soon. They will take action and you most likely would be removed from the hostile environment you are living within. Keep your spirits up.